Mary-Sue
by Ria D'Arcy
Summary: Mary-Sue (called Mary for short) is a twelve year old girl who wants to take the Hunter Exam because she's bored. During the exam she makes new friends - and they're 12 too! **Warning: serious parody of the general plot of most fics in this fandom. Mary-Sue warning. Don't take it seriously. Rated for author's language and occasionally characters. Don't know which pairing yet
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Be prepared for a HORRIBLE fic. I'm not joking. This is my attempt to write a fic like 99% of the others I have read. Extreme Mary-sue-ing here. This is not to offend anyone but, this fic is a representation of what I generally see on this site. And it may just stem from the fact that I'm a critic when it comes to what I read… or because I have been unconsciously pushing my standards onto everyone else. I hold VERY high standards for myself._

_Again – NOT TO OFFEND ANYONE (mainly just because I was bored)._

_I will not be rereading this so there will be mistakes. Reviews and PMs from this will always be appreciated ^^ Just don't take it seriously and have fun ^^_

* * *

I was lying on my back on my bed, swinging my feet over the edge because I was bored. My blonde hair was fanned out beneath my head, it was short for a girl, reaching only to my shoulders when dripping wet. But it was my prettiest feature, asides from my cobalt blue eyes.

All the girls in my neighbourhood were jealous because of my eyes, and all the boys could never stop complementing me. But I was bored with them. This was the summer I turned twelve, and I didn't know what to do.

So here I was, lying on my bed wearing a pair of jean shorts, a pink crop top and my favourite flip flops. And I was still bored.

"Mary! Come down from your room for dinner!"

"Okay, mom!" I called, sighing as I sat up. I smoothed my golden strands and hooked my bangs behind my ears, wondering where my barrettes had gone. Meh, I would look for them later. I grabbed another pair of black ones from my dresser beside my double bed and clipped them in as I trudged down the hall, down the stairs and stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

Mom was stirring something on the stove, wearing a pair of yoga pants and baggy sweater. It was her day off today since it's Sunday, so she had probably spent the whole day cleaning. I pulled out a chair and sat down heavily, waiting to be served.

"Where's dad?" I asked.

"He called and said he would be late. We can start without him he said." Mom said as she dished out a bowl of chilli for me and set it in front of me. Mom's chilli was okay, but I liked dad's better, he knew how to make it spicy. "Dig in Mary."

"Okay mom." I picked up my spoon and took a bite, not as bad as I thought. "Hey, did you put more spice in it?"

"Uh-huh, I used your father's blend. Do you like it?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, it's great!" I finished off the bowl in a jiffy and pushed it away, letting out a satisfied burp. Just as mom cleared away the table I heard the front door open. Keys rattled against the table in the hallway and seconds later dad appeared in the kitchen doorway looking tired and beat up.

"Hi daddy!" I greeted him cheerily, pushing away from the table to give him a peck on his cheek.

"Hi Mary… were you good for your mother today?" He asked as he sat in the chair I had just left.

"Uh-huh." I laced my fingers behind my back and peered at him expectantly. "I haven't caused any trouble for mom in the last month, so _please_ can I go?"

I held out the permission slip that my parents had to sign to allow me to enter the Hunter Exam.

"Fine, fine. Just promise to be careful." He said as he signed it with a flourish and handed it back to me. I took it.

"Promise, promise." I waved at my parents and jumped up the steps two at a time to get back up to my room. I threw a few articles of clothing into my back, grabbed my hair brush and a sweater and traded my flip flops for running shoes. I was all ready to go.

"You can't leave yet Mary…" Mom stood in the doorways of my room, having watched me eagerly pack my things. "The boat doesn't dock until tomorrow morning. Why don't you go to bed?"

"Fine, fine. But I want to get up bright and early tomorrow so I can be the first one on the ship." I kicked off my shoes again and quickly stripped so I could change into my nightgown.

"Good night Mary." Mom flipped off the lights.

"Night mom." I said and crawled beneath my blankets, shifting so I was comfy enough to sleep. Mom closed the door and everything was dark.

_Tomorrow… I get to go to the HUNTER EXAM! I'm so excited… I wonder if I will meet kids my age…?_

* * *

_A/N: That was chapter one… will I continue this? No idea… all depends if I get bored again. I didn't really "try" on this one, like I said in the beginning A/Ns this is just because I was bored. For those who have read this far: Mary is short for Mary-Sue… yeah I had to think __**reeeeeeal**__ hard to come up with that *laughs*_

_I will also restate I am not trying to offend anyone. That's (almost) never my goal. Unless you piss me off in real life then I make it a goal to see how easy it is to offend someone. And I realize a lot of writers on this site are probably half my age (give or take) and I'm not expecting award winning stories but the general plots all seem to be the same._

_So… that's my little rant about this. Bye for now all ^^_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Okay this is C2! Yes I got bored again. I'm sitting in between classes and trying not to study "yet". Again, I'm restating DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. If you do… I will laugh. Hard._

_So please enjoy Mary and her adventures on the ship. Also just a quick note, I have no time to reread/rewatch the series so I'm going from memory here. I will most likely be mixing everything and adding/removing things that have/never happened. So let's label this story AU, okay? ^^_

* * *

My feet slid as the deck rocked unexpectedly. I grasped the thick wooden railing and held onto it for dear life. I didn't like boats. They were so unsteady beneath my hiking boots. I straightened once more and retied my blonde hair in a ponytail. Today I had decided to wear a pair of khaki shorts and a blue t-shirt.

I looked out at the large expense of cerulean blue sea and sighed. It was so boring on this ship. There was nothing much to do. I mean, everyone here was older than me. Was I the youngest person to take the exam or what?

I leaned against the wooden railing and sighed again. We had been sailing for nearly half the day already, when would we get there? I didn't want to spend a lot of time on the ship. I wanted to get to the exam and have some fun.

I leaned back and looked to the sky above my head. There were only a couple of fluffy clouds, one looked like a bunny and I smiled. Maybe that was a good way to kill time. I flopped onto my back and continued looking at the clouds. Asides from the bunny, I spotted a froggie, a duck, and I think a foxbear.

"Oi, what are you doing?"

A boy with silver/white hair poked his head into my line of vision. He seemed young, even if he was a white haired old man.

"Looking at the clouds, you're in the way. Move." I reached up with a hand and shoved his face back, feeling the silky strands of his hair. It was as silky as mine.

"Oi!" He shouted and struggled to remove my hand.

"What?" I asked irritated, sitting up to look at him. He was wearing a long sleeved blue shirt under a white t-shirt with dark blue shorts. His eyes looked like a cat's, even the violet colored reminded me of a kitten I had once owned.

"How old are you?"

"Twelve."

"So you're my age huh, you look like a little kid though. What's the matter? Mommy couldn't pack close that fit?"

"What's that supposed to me? I don't see your mom doing any better. I mean, _two_ shirts? Don't you know you should decide _before_ you dress yourself what you will wear today?"

His face turned red as he tried to retort, I smirked. He finally settled with,

"My mom doesn't pack my clothes for me."

"Well, neither does mine so, mleh." I stuck my tongue out at him and resumed my flopped position on the deck. A new batch of clouds at come into view and I started thinking of what they reminded me of.

A dog.

A cat.

A mermaid.

"Oi!" Spikey white haired boy said. He didn't seem to get the hint that I wasn't interested in talking to him.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

"What's your name?"

"Not telling."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know yours."

"If I tell you mine will you tell me yours?"

I sat up and looked at him. He was leaning his back against the wood railing, arms crossed and seemingly uninterested in this conversation. I shrugged.

"You first."

"Killua."

"Mary-Sue, Mary for short." He snorted and I felt the anger heat my face. "What's wrong with my name?"

"Who names their kid 'Mary-Sue'?"

"Who names their kid something with 'Kill' in it?" I shot back.

"Meh, my family is weird like that."

"Yeah, well I was named after both my grandmothers so there." I huffed and crossed my arms. What right did he have to mock my name?

"Whatever." He, Killua, shrugged and placed his hands in his shorts pockets before turning and walking away.

"Wait!" I called after him as I scrambled to stand up. I really couldn't stand him but it was better then looking at the clouds for who knew how long until this ship docked.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, I'm leaving it there because I really don't feel like trying to figure out what more they can say to each other. I guess with this chapter I'm kinda leading it into a KilxOC but I really don't know. Anyone up for a love triangle? *doubles over laughing* As if! I can't write romance worth ****._

_Please review and ignore the fact that Kil is OOC (all the characters are going to be I think). ^^_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: THIRD AND FINAL WARNING: __**DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!**__ This is C3 'cause I don't know what else to do to kill time right now, I wouldn't be surprised if I actually end up posting twice today. I need something to calm my nerves and this definitely takes my mind off of school._

_Onto C3 and please forgive me but the Hunter Exam is going to be whacked. I can't remember a lot of it, so here goes nothing ^^_

* * *

I was rocking on my heels, leaning most of my weight against the stone wall. We had spent TWO DAYS on that ship. And I was downright SICK of it. Aside from meeting Killua there had been nothing to do, and even he had ditched me after the first day, saying something about it being uncool to hang out with a girl.

Well, sor~ry for being a girl. I snorted. Today was day three since I left home for the exam, and I was wearing a pair of jeans that pooled around my ankles, half coving my boots. I had thrown in a black crop top and was currently wearing it. My blonde hair was still pulled up into a ponytail and my blue eyes were constantly scanning the crowd.

Out of the hundred or so of us who had boarded the ship in the beginning only twenty-five or so of us had actually made it here. I mean, I didn't think it was all that hard to get here. I just followed that silver haired kid, Killua. He had seemed pretty confident on where he was going. So I tagged along, not that he knew that of course. He was so dense.

I snickered. Everyone else was too stupid.

Attached to my top was my white ID badge, number 75. I liked the number. I was one of the first 100 to make it to this year's exam. I smiled, beamed actually.

"Do you want some juice?" I looked over to see a pig nosed man standing next to me, he was holding out an unopened can of orange juice.

"Gross, no." I said, pushing it away from me. He just shrugged and left.

"Oh, good you didn't drink it." I turned to see Killua standing there, hands still in the pockets of his blue shorts.

"Why would I? Orange juice is nasty." A second latter his face broke and he laughed. He was LAUGHING at me. "What?" I snapped irritated.

"That orange juice was more than just 'nasty'. He's added a strong laxative to it, one sip and you won't see anything but the toilet for the next day and a half."

"Eww…." I scrunched my face at his blunt description, glad that I didn't drink the stuff. "Wha?" I started as I saw him pop the top on an identical can of juice and chug it back. "Won't that make _you_ sick?"

"Nope, something like this doesn't affect me. But how do you not like orange juice? It's good."

"Personal preference I guess. You're weird for drinking that stuff."

"And you're weird for not liking it."

The sound of the elevator doors opening caused me to look over as a trio of people stepped out. One was a tall man, with black hair and glasses carrying a suitcase. The second was a blonde… girl? Wearing a blue something and really pretty light blue eyes. The last one to draw my attention was the boy. He looked to be my age, wearing a green jacket and shorts. His hair was spiked back, black with green tips. The strangest part was he was carrying a fishing rod.

I lost sight of them as they made their way into the crowd. Maybe I would be lucky and get to talk to the boy. I wouldn't mind making a friend my age. Killua didn't count. He was a nuisance. Though, a helpful nuisance at times. Maybe I would keep an eye on him too.

BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

"AH!" I jumped as something loud rang in the tunnel. I wasn't the only one startled. Many people were jumping about, all focusing on the tall man in the pipes above our heads. He was wearing a purple suit, a curly mustache and no mouth.

How were you supposed to talk without a mouth?

"Welcome to the 287th Hunter Exam. As of this moment, all of you are participants. We will be starting phase 1 with 404 and I will be leading you to the second phase."

Oh, that's how I guess.

The ground rumbled as the seemingly solid wall behind the tall guy slowly lifted. He jumped down and started walking into the now longer tunnel.

"My name is Satotz… As I said I will be leading you to the second phase. Please keep up." The pack was slowly following him and I joined it. I wanted to stay near the front as much as possible, since I didn't know what to expect.

Soon though it became apparent to me that Satotz-san was increasing his pace. Before we had been walking, now most of us were having to jog to keep up. But he never seemed to move any faster. His pace was set, but his _footsteps_ were not. From what I could see, I watched his legs, measuring the distance of each of his steps. And he WAS increasing the distance. It was a gradual increase, unnoticeable unless you were LOOKING for it.

Add to that the pressure of not knowing how long we would have to keep up this pace… and you got yourself not only a physical endurance test, but a mental one too.

I think I was going to have a lot of fun. I adjusted the straps a little on my brown backpack and set a pace I knew I could maintain for a long time. I was the star of my school's long-distance track team after all. Passing this phase of the test would be easy…

.. or so I had thought.

* * *

_A/N: As you can all probably tell, I'm not taking chapters upon chapters to spell this out. I'm making it short and (un)sweet. I don't want to put in a lot of effort of retelling everything that happens in the manga/anime. YOU GUYS SHOULD ALREADY KNOW! _

…_Unless you read this fandom out of boredom, in that case – this story won't help you learn anything. Watch the anime / read the manga – it's MUCH better than any of these fics. _

_I have to o off to class now. But please review ^^_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Told ya I could probably update twice today. What follows is what was written in an hour and a half, if it's not finished, I don't plan on finishing it. Studying is more important than writing this but I don't know ANYONE who can study for two hours straight on something that is two pages long._

_So, I welcome my readers to Phase One Part Two: The Swamp…_

* * *

I doubled over, trying to catch a little of breath back. I was so happy to be out of that tunnel. The air had long ago become stall and all I wanted now was the fresh air of… wherever we were.

I looked up to see a BIG swampy area. Everything was green, and BIG. I felt small standing next to even the smallest of plants that I could see.

"Welcome to Madman's Swamp… we must cross through this to reach the site of the second phase. It is very important that you follow me. If you get lost in the swamp you won't come out alive. The creatures here will try to trick you. Do not believe them." Satotz-san explained as the last of us came out of the tunnel. The door to the tunnel was closing, a man just on the other side shouted in protest but he didn't make it in time.

Too bad buddy.

I looked back in front of us and was suddenly thankful I had worn my jeans. Just imagine all the BUGS this place contained. Ew..

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!" A man's shout came from the side of the building. He looked like a guy who had walked through the swamp on his hands and knees. In other words, he looked horrible. And being dragged across the ground by him was a… monkey man?

"He looks like Satotz-san." I said as I tried to peer closer.

"He's an imposter!" The dirt-covered man said, chucking the monkey into the middle of the group. "I'm the real proctor! He's nothing but a monkey! He's trying to lure you into the swamp so he can eat you!"

I looked back at Statoz-san, who was standing calmly at the head of the group as all the other applicants began doubting him. I mean, Statoz-san a monkey? How did they BELIEVE that?

I scuffed, walking away and standing at the edge of the crowd. I wanted to see how this played out but I was NOT going to do that while standing in the center of the crowd. I was perfectly fine NOT becoming a flapjack.

From the corner of my eye I caught sight of silver haired kid and a spikey black haired kid. I guess I wasn't the only one to make it through. Killua and the other kid were here too. I may have to follow them through this second part.

My blonde head whipped around to face Statoz-san as something with surprising force and speed was flung at him. Statoz-san caught the projectiles with ease, revealing that they were in fact ordinary playing cards.

Gasps sounded as the "real" proctor fell over, cards sticking from his chest and forehead. Apparently he was dead. So much for his lie. The monkey at his side twitched. And that movement caught my eye. Guess he wasn't all that "dead" like people had thought.

Good thing I hadn't been fooled.

"The next time you attack a proctor, you will be disqualified. Do I make myself clear Hisoka?" Statoz-san addressed a man with spiked up red hair and wearing a light blue short vest with suit symbols on the front and back, matching pants tucked into white heeled boots and a yellow bandana tied about his waist. His face was painted so there was a star and a teardrop.

Hisoka… I had heard that name back before the last of the applicants arrived. Hisoka the magician, number 44, he was supposed to have been disqualified last year when he KILLED a proctor. Oh boy, I was SOOOOOO steering clear of him. He looked like the kind of guy who enjoyed a good blood bath, literally.

"Now that that is cleared up, follow me please." Statoz-san turned without another word and picked up the pace into the forest. I followed Killua and the spikey haired kid, keeping my distance from Hsoka.

* * *

Running through all this mud was HARD! My boots were coated in mud, as well as the bottom of my jeans, the bugs were nearly eating me in swarms and I had never been covered in so much sweat in my life.

I continued to run though, following Killua. He and the spikey haired kid at split up when, from what I could hear, his other "friends" had been lost in the fog. Maybe I could talk to him again… It was better than running in this god forsaken swamp in silence…

Silence?

I skipped to a stop and shouted,

"Killua!" just as the ground beneath me gave way. With nothing under me I felt as my body began to plummet. I was near the edge of the pit, thankfully. So my fingers dragged along the dirt wall until they were finally able to catch a small ledge sturdy enough to hold my weight. I hung there, praying Killua had heard me and would come help.

"Oi!" Thank god! "What are you doing?"

"I'm hanging around, what does it look like?" I shouted back to him as I saw to my right a flat rock jutting out enough to be called a shelf. I hoped it would hold my weight. I swung my body like a pendulum and caught the lip with my boot. I slowly worked my foot up until my heel was firmly on the rock. I lifted my other leg up and when I was sure my ankle wouldn't slip I let go with my hands and let me body swing into the rock.

My back slammed against it and I was stunned for a second before I contracted my stomach muscles, curling up and hooking my fingers enough that I could push myself completely onto the rock shelf.

I looked up at Killua to see his impressed face.

"Can you throw me down a vine or something so I can climb out?"

"S-sure." He called, backing away and out of sight. I sighed, already feeling an ache in my arms. How I wished to find a steamy hot spring at the end of this run.

The vine slapped against the wall and I tugged it a few times to make sure it wouldn't snap. I went hand over hand until I reached the top some dozen feet up and peered over the top to see Killua straining to hold the fine.

"Get up already, you're heavy." Killua complained as I quickly complied.

"I'm average weight for your information, how is that heavy?"

"You're heavy for a girl."

"And your hair's too soft for a guy's." I retorted.

"Hey! My hair as nothing to do with this!"

"Did I hit a sensitive spot Mr. Silver-haired-old-man?"

"I ain't old either!" His face shaded red and I laughed.

"We need to catch up before we fall behind. Let's go." I stood up on shaky legs and started sprinting the same direction we have previously been going in. No one was in sight and the fog was getting thicker.

"If you want to make it back, I suggest you follow me." Killua had appeared at my side and I stumbled as he easily overtook me. No one at school at been able to catch me, yet he seemed like he wasn't even trying.

* * *

_A/N: End of Phase One! Mainly cause I don't feel like writing any more. I was happy to finally just get some action into this story. ^^_

_Next chapter if/when I write it will feature Phase Two with Menchi and Buhara! *runs off to study*_


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